Not having a sister

This is something that is so easy for many people to over look. Clearly, every household is different growing up and every family gets along in different ways but I really really wish I had a sister sometimes. I grew up with a brother that is 5 years older than me, which was fine…at least I had a sibling. However, when I wanted to do things it had to either be playing pokémon or ninja turtles, playing street hockey with the boys or I was home alone by myself.

The neighbors were all older than me or they were boys which made it so much harder for me to find something in common with them! I played street hockey as long as I could last, to be honest the older boys always outran me and it wasn’t any fun. I would be told by the neighbors that their son and my brother didn’t want to play with me and I would have to go home. I used to try to follow my brother around everywhere but he never wanted anything to do with me. Yes of course, in our own home we would find ways to interact and have fun but it was always him throwing me on the couch in a choke slam and frog splashing from the side arm of the couch onto me and screaming “FROG SPLASH!!!!” It got real old real quick!

Once I got into middle school I had realized how much of a tom boy this all made me, I had decided I needed to find some new friends. It wasn’t until I joined the all star volleyball and basketball teams that I started getting real close with some of my girl friends at school. We would have sleepovers and sneak out just to sit in the street because we thought we were cool. We would spend so much time together it was insane, then I finally felt like I was wanted somewhere!

While spending all of this time with my friends I realized the majority of them had sisters, I was finding myself wanting a sister more and more. Once I got old enough I took a step back and realized, my mom was one of seven children, four girls and three boys. She got to have sisters and brothers! She didn’t understand! What she understood is that she thought she was doing me a favor since the living conditions she grew up in were too small for all of those siblings. Her sisters would always be getting in fights and things were just a mess, now, they are who each other relies on day in and day out!

When I was younger all I thought about was an older sister who would give me her clothes, talk to me about boys, help me figure out my makeup and even teach me the ropes. This was never given to me I had to figure it out on my own and after going through some traumatizing times with the clothing I chose (i’m serious I have no idea how my mom let me out of the house), I finally discovered who I was. I didn’t need a sister to realize this, I didn’t need someone to look up to or someone to look up to me, I was my own person and through whatever journey I had to make it through, I can proudly say I made it out of the other end SOMEHOW unharmed!

To those of you that have sisters, I still am slightly jealous, I know so many of you are so close and most of the people who don’t have brothers wish that they did. Everyone sees the grass as greener in someone else’s life but my brother and I are not close by any means, we barely talk, only slightly communicate, it’s kind of sad…especially to someone that doesn’t know us I’m sure. However, its always been like that and I have a feeling it always will be in the future. He is now married and has his own life and I will be starting mine soon too. Life and God both work in mysterious ways to bring things to you that you never knew you wanted or needed. This is my message to all of those out there wishing their life was different from the beginning, no you don’t! Your life has brought you everything good you have and everything great you will be getting. Enjoy it for what it is and thank god that everyday you wake up breathing and you actually have a family!

Any of you with sisters want to add in your two sense? Do so below! I’d love to hear your stories of you and your sisters!

Until next time,

-L

6 thoughts on “Not having a sister

  1. I can’t comment on having a sister because I, like you, don’t have one. Growing up with three brothers I did feel that in some ways I didn’t know how to be feminine. Although I had many cousins, the ones closest to my age were boys and there were fewer girls. Only for a few years I had two twin girl neighbor playmates, but they were two or three years older than me and it didn’t last long. I don’t recall this event, but my mom told me that when she informed me that my youngest brother was going to be a boy, I cried. Every once in a while when I heard friends talking about their sisters, I wished I had an older one as well for the same reasons-to teach me about things like makeup and boys. And sometimes I wished I had a younger sister I could play with and maybe show her some of the ropes. But mostly I did enjoy having brothers and I’ve learned a lot from each of them. We enjoyed each other’s company for the most part, and even more so now that we’re all adults (at least I feel that way). Both my parents grew up in large families with multiple brothers and sisters and the stories they told about all the fun they had did make me a bit jealous sometimes. However, I absolutely agree with you that God works in mysterious ways and there is a reason we have the families we have.

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    1. I love this! Unfortunately, out of all the aunts and uncles I have on my mom’s side there is only me and one other girl cousin! She is about 12 years older than me and it was so hard watching her get married when I was around 11 or 12 because I knew things would never be the same again. Luckily, I had her to compare everything in my life to because she had two brothers and the same larger family as I did! Thank you for sharing your story, I love hearing feedback from my readers!
      -L

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  2. I’m without a sister but find myself always waiting for my brother to get married so I can have one!!! I found having a brother made it harder for me to find solid girlfriends. Thankfully I did have girl cousins within a year or two of my age so In my mind I made them my sister

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  3. Hey L!!!! Finally!!! I don’t have a sister too. I have three brothers however. I know how I always wanted a sister so much that when mum was pregnant for my little brother, I prayed so hard for it to be a girl. My brother is beautiful, I try to wear him a scarf. I can’t lose it all. Lol. But yes, I learned on my own, with no one to put me through. But I love my brothers and love my life. God is good. I have sisters my association and I won’t trade them for the world.
    You may want to check out my blog
    chinazaperem@wordpress.com

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