Making new friends as you age

When I was younger I never thought anything of having friends because I had close friends and enough of them to where I was not worried about losing them. As I grew up, of course there was drama and circumstances kept building up until I found myself down quite a few friends. In my opinion it didn’t have anything to do with relationships or a silly feud that I had with my friends, I honestly could not pin-point a time when I could say, “Ah! thats what ended the friendship!” I still look back on a few of my high school and earlier friendships and wonder what happened.

Where I am now, I am very happy and content with the relationships I have and have kept for years. I have also come to realize while thinking back on this topic that I am the kind of friend that won’t take time away to text you and ask you how you are doing, I may notice you posted something questionable and ask you about it but on a daily basis I don’t usually contact my friends and just ask them how they are doing. This may make me seem selfish to some but we all have busy lives and have things going on that may hinder our ability to connect and catch up with friends. I am the kind of person that can put aside all of the time we have spent not talking because we have been so busy in our own lives and just use the time we have to catch up and move on. I sincerely want to know about my friends lives I am just so busy and I know they are too that it’s easier to catch up when we see one another.

This simple fact has been something that has kept me set apart from my friends for years. I think about it now and when I was in grade school hanging out with my friends I had always wondered why they were so much closer than I was to them, then I realized it was because they had spent so much time together that they knew anything and everything about each other. This may come as a surprise to most reading this but at this stage in my life, I really don’t care anymore! The people that want to be friends with me, I’m here for them, always! I really do care about the well being of my friends and I try to keep tabs on them as much as I possibly can. However, I won’t be spending my time trying to mend bridges that my past friends have burned for one reason or another.

I am writing this post because I have come to realize besides maybe 2 or 3 people, all of the friends I am close with right now in my life are friends I have come into contact with through work or school. I have found these friends in non-traditional ways, some through other friends and we became closer than expected and even some that are relatives of my current friends! There are so many different ways we can make new friends but it honestly gets so much harder once you start nearing your mid-twenties because everyone at this age has everything in their lives down to a science. Most people have full time jobs and some have kids. Everyone has their own life and adding a friend into that, to most people, may seem like a burden!

I have watched countless movies but as I am writing this one movie keeps coming up in my head and I can’t seem to shake it. I Love You Man is a movie about a couple who is getting married and the wife has all these friends she wants to be in her wedding and her future husband has basically no friends that he can have in the wedding, not even a best man! Then he tries finding a friend in his 30s and it seems to be tough until he finds this one guy and they literally spend all of their time together, day in day out. I look at movies like this and thats just not realistic. Of course, now we have the internet where people I’m sure can find a website to make new friends or whatever but no where that I know of can people basically put aside their lives to hang out with people, it just doesn’t work like that. I guess that’s Hollywood for you **eye roll**

Basically, my point is that it doesn’t really matter how many friends you have…I have seen people with huge groups of friends and people with 3 friends both with equally the same happiness. What really matters is the QUALITY of friendships you have. As you age I’m sure you lose more and more friends, as that seems to be the trend thus far in my life, but the friends that I do hold onto are growing with me and our relationship is becoming more mature and honestly, I have come to terms with being a very up front person and if I’m busy and can’t do something, I don’t beat around the bush I literally just tell you I can’t or not today. Simple as that. If they are a real friend they will understand!

Any thoughts anyone else has on making new friends later in life? Comment below and let me know!

Until next time,

-L

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