This is something that has really gotten to me lately. I have been so back and forth but with the way things are going in this generation its more likely than not that you know someone that just got engaged or married. It may be my age group or the people we surround ourselves with but it seems as if everyone else is moving on with their lives and I’m stuck in a rut.
I have talked to Nick about this a million and a half times and I have told him I really don’t want to be engaged and going back to our parents house because…thats just strange in my opinion. Therefore, I thought I had made it pretty clear I want the house first then the ring.
We have been dating for almost 4 1/2 years and it has gotten to the point where he is written down as my emergency contact for most things, of course my mother is still listed on others. It definitely gets to me when I think about filling out those documents then getting to the “Relationship” part and seeing that I have to write “boyfriend”. It doesn’t seem legitimate or reasonable that you write boyfriend. Like, in society it’s almost expected that you are married if you get to that point.
It hit a whole new level when I started talking about getting health insurance coverage when I turn 26 and joking with Nick that we need to be married by the time I’m 26 so i can go under his insurance. You would think that’s a legitimate reason if you’ve ever heard one, but his response? “There is this thing that you can put down domestic partner”…..oh, okay. So everything with marriage was thrown out the window and here I am sitting in the corner being called your PARTNER. I love my life lol.
I know it will happen because we talk about it all the time but he hasn’t even started saving for a ring and deep in the back of my mind I just know he won’t be able to save as much once we get a house so this to me was very defeating and I need to realized I basically asked for it when I told him I want the house first, but I didn’t say I never want to get married.
I have had this idea for a blog post written down in my planner for a while and finally decided it was time to write about it after that happened. Thanks for reading along and if anyone has any light-hearted comments about the topic, please do share. I clearly want him to make the decision on his own time and I want it to be special but yeesh! It’s a whirlwind!
Until next time,
-L
my beautiful upside-down world 
Be careful what you wish for! Life is just as messy on the other side. My grandmother said to me “Don’t put your soul in a hatbox.” She also said she wishes she hadn’t put up with some of the things she did. First lesson in marriage: the struggle that comes when what you want depends on the actions of the one you love. Which is worth fighting for? The answer to that should always be different depending on the situation. Love well, be wise, have faith. Xoxo
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Thank you for this! I have thought many times about how lucky I am to not be tied down in certain situations but like my coworker told me the other day, I’m very lucky to have a man that allows me to live the life I want. I spend all my time invested in work and school and he knows thats most important. I hope if when we do get married that carries over into the marriage but you’re right, I’ll take it for what it is right now and live in the moment. Thank you for your words!
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The deepest love grows from working alongside your partner, growing individually while also growing together. You are doing that now! Watch the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. Jennifer Anniston and Ben Affleck’s story will endear you to your own situation.
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Thanks Amy for such an awesome movie tip. Trailer looks good and I’d definitely watch the movie now. Yay!
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I think you’ve been together longer than most married couples stay married. That speaks for itself.
Backyard weekend marriages don’t cost a lot. July sounds great.
Rings hold two kinds of value. One could be a financial investment in property that can be sold. The other has no monetary value but worth more than all the gold in the world. Possibly, a cheap ring and a backyard barbecue with the neighborhood preacher in the month of July with your closest friends would be the best investment in the currency of everlasting love.
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Yes!!! That sounds just about exactly what I want! You and I are on the same page, and we already have a great base for our relationship so I have a good feeling we’d have a very happy marriage!
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It will happen on God’s time, His timing is always perfect especially when He wants us to wait!✨
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I keep telling myself he has a plan 🤞
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He does!
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For starters, thanks so much for reading my short story!
I’ve been married for ten years now, and here’s what I’ve learned:
You can spend thirty grand or one grand (I spent the latter, as I was a fourth-year plumbing apprentice at the time), and you’re just as married at the end of the day. You have the same amount of time celebrating with friends and family, and the same memories. You still get to be the ‘princess of the day’, whether your dress costs $100 (as my wife’s did) or ten thousand.
Marriage is about publicly standing before everyone you know and declaring this: ‘I am so committed to this relationship that I am willing to make it formal, and legal’.
There’s a lot of ups and downs from there, but that’s life. In any case, I wish you all the best!
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That’s so genuinely nice of you, thank you so much! I’m still waiting for the question to be popped no matter what I’m confronted with! We’ll (hopefully) soon see! I’ll keep everyone updated so make sure you follow along!!!
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There is no law against prodding him, you know… 😉
May you both be blessed!
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